The Gatekeeper Thing

The Magnificent Others by Billy Corgan, Featuring Melissa Auf Der Maur and Courtney Love

I have a podcast recommendation. I’ve listened to a couple episodes of The Magnificent Others podcast with Billy Corgan. He impressed me with his interview style, but it didn’t hook me. Then I listened to his recent interviews with Melissa Auf der Maur and Courtney Love. Those episodes are great. Listen to them in this order: Melissa then Courtney. Think of it as a single work, a short audiobook. Listening to Corgan and Auf der Maur talk about Courtney will prepare you for her interview.

I love these interviews because they are all close friends with complex, larger-than-life shared history. I’ve never met Corgan, but I’ve long admired his music. I respect Smashing Pumpkins more today than I did in the ‘90s. I recently played and sang 1979 with a fantastic professional cover band that sounded exactly like the record. It was a thrilling musical experience. What a song. If I’m honest, that song accomplishes what I tried and failed to do with at least twenty of my songs. It’s perfect.

I knew Melissa and Courtney pretty well for a short time. I knew them because they were friends with Evan Dando. Evan and I were together much of the time on tour. He really wanted me to be friends with his friends, and his friends were fabulous—and often rich or famous (or both). Evan vouched for me and they welcomed me into their space. Melissa was so charismatic, and Courtney was endlessly fascinating. It was for a brief time, but I considered both Melissa and Courtney friends.

Melissa talks about her magical 90s experience, followed by the crushing disappointment of the Millennium. I get where she’s coming from, because I had a magical 90s experience, too. I made such a hard pivot out of the 90s that I didn’t have time to feel disappointed. Between 2000 and 2004, I got married, we had two (out of three) kids, and I finished law school and took the bar. Melissa left public life and focused on motherhood.

I know it’s hard to settle into everyday life when you’ve lived big like that. Melissa loved her challenging year touring with the Pumpkins, but she found it grueling. Over 180 shows in a year, sometimes four hours long. That kind of playing is so physical, and the energy in those rooms is so overwhelming.