Speaking as a former professor, that's uncool of Prof. Bolla to out you like that!
I appreciate your story, John. While I haven't had your level of success with music, we have similar paths. In 2002, I was 36 and debating spending more time on the road or going back to grad school. I was tired of struggling with money and wanted to balance my wife's writing ambitions with musical ones. Around that time, I opened for Chuck Prophet, Jason Ringenberg, and Robbie Fulks. After each show, I asked for their advice. All three had the same message: (1) You're good enough to do this, and (2) if there's another thing you love that you can make a living from and still play music, do that! I returned to grad school the next fall and never looked back, writing and playing all the while.
I recently retired at 58. I'm writing and playing than I ever have. And some of the musicians who criticized me at the time are dead or damaged from leading hard musician lives. I don't say that to sound triumphant, but to underscore that the notion of selling out was such a toxic thing for our generation. I'll always be grateful to Chuck, Jason, and Robbie for their kindness. Glad to see you ended up in a great spot as well.
Great story, congrats. I sincerely love what I do, so retirement isn’t even the goal here. I’ll leave more time for creative pursuits in the future; but for now there’s precious little space between what I love to do and what pays the bills.
Sharing this with my wife, who I met just as she was beginning her 2L year, and whose job security and good benefits in the corporate world have allowed me to build my independent creative (branding) business named after an obscure joke in a cartoon series from 1999.
I have viewed selling out as compromising your principles and personal integrity in exchange for cash. It's possible to be successful and not sacrifice those things. I am looking from outside in of course, but you have always appeared to demonstrate integrity as a musician, label head and attorney. I think there is sometimes a perception in the public that to be successful in those three roles, you have to sell out to a record label, corporate boards and shareholders, and the demands of BigLaw.
There's another side to this in not just music but in academia, an artogance, really. A sense that we have special gifts, and we shouldn't have to put up with the same bullshit as everyone else. I caught a nasty case of this. It took me a while to realize I'm not special, and I can't just do what I want. I've had to make compromises in life to deal with limitations, like my inability to drive. So there's about 5 places in America I can live comfortably, and that lack of flexibility is incompatible with the life I thought I wanted. Eventually, I wised up, and I prioritize taking care of myself. But I pushed myself to the point of my body breaking before I got there.
I look back on grad school and realize it was truly madness to keep trying to push what finally amounted to 5 surgeries -- 4 lumbar, 1 arm -- and MRSA, while trying to live a below-the-poverty line existence. I don't feel bad I didn't finish my PhD. I'm glad I didn't end up crippling myself. (As it is, I take advantage of ADA for shows. If I'm moving, I'm fine, but my core muscles have been cut up so much I can't stand in one place without moving for long.)
People in my life tried to talk sense into me, but I was a little shit and didn't listen. My late uncle was a semipro horn player who worked as an engineer and even he couldn't get through to me about this. Part of it's the autism -- I think part of why it's common in creative fields is that they require a certain single-mindedness. I don't know that we're an any more talented, it's the inflexibility.
All the successful artists I’ve known have been single-minded. It’s a trait I seek out as a business person. You need that level of drive in addition to the foundational talent.
Speaking as a former professor, that's uncool of Prof. Bolla to out you like that!
I appreciate your story, John. While I haven't had your level of success with music, we have similar paths. In 2002, I was 36 and debating spending more time on the road or going back to grad school. I was tired of struggling with money and wanted to balance my wife's writing ambitions with musical ones. Around that time, I opened for Chuck Prophet, Jason Ringenberg, and Robbie Fulks. After each show, I asked for their advice. All three had the same message: (1) You're good enough to do this, and (2) if there's another thing you love that you can make a living from and still play music, do that! I returned to grad school the next fall and never looked back, writing and playing all the while.
I recently retired at 58. I'm writing and playing than I ever have. And some of the musicians who criticized me at the time are dead or damaged from leading hard musician lives. I don't say that to sound triumphant, but to underscore that the notion of selling out was such a toxic thing for our generation. I'll always be grateful to Chuck, Jason, and Robbie for their kindness. Glad to see you ended up in a great spot as well.
Great story, congrats. I sincerely love what I do, so retirement isn’t even the goal here. I’ll leave more time for creative pursuits in the future; but for now there’s precious little space between what I love to do and what pays the bills.
Sharing this with my wife, who I met just as she was beginning her 2L year, and whose job security and good benefits in the corporate world have allowed me to build my independent creative (branding) business named after an obscure joke in a cartoon series from 1999.
Love it!
I have viewed selling out as compromising your principles and personal integrity in exchange for cash. It's possible to be successful and not sacrifice those things. I am looking from outside in of course, but you have always appeared to demonstrate integrity as a musician, label head and attorney. I think there is sometimes a perception in the public that to be successful in those three roles, you have to sell out to a record label, corporate boards and shareholders, and the demands of BigLaw.
There's another side to this in not just music but in academia, an artogance, really. A sense that we have special gifts, and we shouldn't have to put up with the same bullshit as everyone else. I caught a nasty case of this. It took me a while to realize I'm not special, and I can't just do what I want. I've had to make compromises in life to deal with limitations, like my inability to drive. So there's about 5 places in America I can live comfortably, and that lack of flexibility is incompatible with the life I thought I wanted. Eventually, I wised up, and I prioritize taking care of myself. But I pushed myself to the point of my body breaking before I got there.
I feel this!
I look back on grad school and realize it was truly madness to keep trying to push what finally amounted to 5 surgeries -- 4 lumbar, 1 arm -- and MRSA, while trying to live a below-the-poverty line existence. I don't feel bad I didn't finish my PhD. I'm glad I didn't end up crippling myself. (As it is, I take advantage of ADA for shows. If I'm moving, I'm fine, but my core muscles have been cut up so much I can't stand in one place without moving for long.)
People in my life tried to talk sense into me, but I was a little shit and didn't listen. My late uncle was a semipro horn player who worked as an engineer and even he couldn't get through to me about this. Part of it's the autism -- I think part of why it's common in creative fields is that they require a certain single-mindedness. I don't know that we're an any more talented, it's the inflexibility.
All the successful artists I’ve known have been single-minded. It’s a trait I seek out as a business person. You need that level of drive in addition to the foundational talent.
We're all chasing paper in one way or another. Money, property, headlines, a marriage license. There's a song in there somewhere!